29th December 2012

Is Your Guy a Feeder?


Does your guy do most of the cooking in your house?

Do you live with a feeder? 



As the author of The Drop Zone Diet lose 14lbs in 14 days (Penguin Books) I’ve noticed a significant obstacle that is preventing women losing weight for good; the Feeder. A feeder by definition is a guy who like his ladies big but actually I’ve noticed a more subtle form of a feeder emerging, one who likes to cook to show his love in an effort to keep his woman happy, and as wonderful as this is, it can cause problems if you’re looking to change your diet and get fit, and it’s one of the most frequent issues that comes up in my clinic as I hear women say time and time again....

“I try to lose weight but my husband does all the cooking and it’s hard getting him to cook something different for me”


If this issue affects you, you may experience a number of the following obstacles to losing weight in the long term.


A feeder will:

  1. Plate your food up as if it were their own i.e. too much quantity
  2. Cook the same foods most weeks
  3. Be very reluctant to change routine/recipes
  4. Be offended if you don’t empty your plate
  5. Offer you ‘treats’ such as chocolates and nibbles late at night
  6. Pop snacks and unhealthy food in your trolley whilst shopping (with a cheeky smile!)
  7. Suggest going out for dinner when he knows your on a diet
  8. Cook foods with ‘smell’ to entice you i.e. bacon


The Psychology of a Feeder

The intent behind a feeder's actions is not to make you fat but to make you happy. You will have displayed happiness and contentment in the past when they cook or bring food so they repeat that behaviour as a reward for both of you so you can have a lovely relaxed chilled evening etc...


Don’t Be Defeated by Your Feeder

If 2013 is YOUR year to get fit and lose weight then how can you get around your feeder issue? Here are some tips to get you on track:


  1. Communication is key

You may have mentioned that you want to lose weight in the past, but have your words been matched by your actions? If you display inconsistency between what you say and what you do, then you are giving mixed signals to your guy and he simply isn’t going to ‘get’ that this time you mean it. Sit him down and tell him how much this means to you and how much you would like his support to help you prepare and cook foods that are healthy for you both to eat.


“My wife is always talking about going on a diet, and I’m so used to it by now that I just nod and go with the flow because I know it will last a week, tops, before we’re back to me cooking again”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Paul, Warrington


  1. Consistency

To achieve your goals you will have to be consistent. This means that you are not cajoled into having a take away and a bottle of wine after a stressful day. A treat is fine, but if you’ve agreed that Monday-Friday you will eat healthily, then no matter what, you must keep to this plan and save the take aways until the weekend. If you keep moving the goal posts then your feeder will peck away at you until you give in again and again.


“It’s boring and no fun when my girlfriend is on a diet, it’s all steamed fish and salad. She usually loses her resolve though at night so at least we get some chocolate about 8pm!”


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Jason, Brighton


  1. Sharing Goals

Sharing cooking as a hobby is a fantastic way to expand the repertoire of foods that are cooked in your house. Research shows that we rotate about 12 different recipes a fortnight and so it’s very easy to get stuck in a rut. Finding a cookery class that you can go to together is a fantastic way of sharing and engaging together.


“Our local Indian Restaurant does curry cooking classes and now we make our own healthy curries every weekend and really enjoy trying different recipes together”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Eric, Manchester

The Drop Zone Diet 

The Drop Zone Diet is not only for women, a guy recently contacted me to say he had lost 17lbs on the diet as he and his wife cooked the foods together and they loved learning how to make the soups together and experiencing new tastes. 


So if 2013 is your year to get fit and healthy, I wish all the love and luck in the world and if you are looking to do a diet I hope it’s the healthiest one around...The Drop Zone Diet


Happy New Year


Jeannette x